Big Mistake! Big Mistake - HUGE!

As I sat in the Accident and Emergency ward waiting to hear my fate, I spotted a TV crew. They were from a show called Medical Emergency that airs on Aussie TV. As they went around the cubicles asking to interview patients I tried to tidy my hair and rub the sleep out of my eyes. Of course the TV crew were secretly wishing they find patients that are likely to be in hospital for a long duration. They want to lure a viewer into watching their show religiously over several weeks, to check up on poor Jimmy and see if he got that saucepan removed from his head without loosing an ear or if Aunt Aggie will spills the beans about how she really did get that cucumber stuck up her bum!!

As they approached my cubicle I became conscious of my dirty mismatching PJ's with a dried egg stain down the front, they made a slight pause before spotting the well groomed trendy German guy in the cubicle opposite. He had hurt his Achilles heel - skateboarding.

The German guy, let's call him Helmut, had been in the Country less than a week and played in an amateur band that was touring Australia. Let's call the band, Hot Hammer!

They interviewed Helmut (who turned out to be 35 years old) about his injury and didn't seem to mind that he had slipped on a "Hot Hammer" t shirt and a "Hot Hammer" cap. As he blatantly plugged the band, mentioning them in every sentence. I think he might have also named which retail outlets stocked their latest CD.

After the interview the film crew, looked at me, looked at my egg stain, looked at me and whisked themselves off for a tea break.

Helmet - if you are reading this, it's because those clever surgeons at the Alfred Hospital successfully removed your head from your arse - What the hell are you doing on a skateboard at 35 years of age?

What do you expect?

I bet your band are rubbish.

As I was wheeled out of surgery 2 days later, with my oxygen mask, saline drip and catheter bag fit to burst, I saw that TV crew aimlessly looking around for their next victim.
Even in my weary state, I managed to pull myself up, take off the oxygen mask and like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman re-entering the designer clothes store with more bags than she could carry, I said to that TV crew..."big mistake, big...HUGE......I have to go to rehab now!!"

I would have won the hearts of Australian's nationally. TV rating swould have soared. I would have been labelled the Pommy "Aussie Battler" .

I would have had a chat show by Christmas!

Flowers on the photo were sent from Caro and Raff while I was still in A&E.

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