Home visit

I am not sure i like occupational therapist's. Like the scorpion, they can look you in the eye with a sugar sweet smile on their face, then when you least expect it, strike you from behind, severing a main artery.

The artery of Hope.

You see they are actually lovely people (I have met 4, I am qualified to judge). Their job is to ' maximise my capacity to carry out my Activities of Daily Living ' (ADL's). They introduce apparatus that will assist me during this transitional period. Their job is to make sure i'm safe.
Of course their scorpion like sting is rhetorical. But it does feel like a slap in the face when they talk about: wheelchair access, adjustable shower seats, safety bars or bedside commode's. What they don't understand is that I won't need these things when i dance out of here. I might be on crutches but i will be dancing!
Why move the furniture in my front room for wheel chairs when i won't be in one? Why would i sit down in a shower? Isn't that the same as a bath?
I am not completely opposed to some of their ideas. I must admit the safety bars could be advantageous. I would prefer to put them on the wall near my front door so i have something to hang off when i am trying to put the key in the lock at 3 in the morning.

The bedside commode can stay.

Maybe the OT's are being a little OTT, but they have given me permission for a HOME VISIT on saturday night.

That will improve my ADL!

A Pivitol Week Ahead. . .

Just a quick post to let you know what a big week i have planned. Apart from my 2 hours of physio a day, i will also get my custom built AFO's, or leg and foot splints. They will be more comfortable and allow me to wear them for longer. On wednesday i get to go home with the occupational the rapist's to check what changes i need in the home. Make any quick changes there and then and inform the letting agents of any major changes. A quick thank you to Nat for cleaning my apartment and hopefully hiding anything that may cause red faces. Like BOB who might be lying on the bed. On thursday morning i head back to the Alfred hospital for nerve conduction studies. Not sure how it works but it will give me an idea of longer term objectives i MIGHT need to think about. I know it involves big needles! Then i may well be allowed a sleep over at chez raquel on saturday night. . . With the view to go home on 13 th and get home physio. Wow! I do hope i get my cheese board finished this week!

A Patients Patience. . .

. . . Can wear thin. It's just after 5 am. My friends wheeled me down to a lovely little Turkish place down the road and we had a fun night. Got back to the ward just after 9 and could tell jeanne was quite plastered by then. At 1 am she was still topping up her plastic cup. 1 30am she was still wheeling outside for a ciggie. 2 am she drunk dials her husband and at 3 am with the tv still blearing i call the nurses to put her to bed. Since then i have laid here listening to the grunts, groans, snore's and incessant chatter of a content woman on the same dose of downers they would give to kill a horse!

Meet my new roomie - "Hello Daaarling!"

Meet Christine, my new roomie. Aka Jeanne Little. Quite fabulous, even with her neck and full back brace. Poor Daaarling!

I first met Chris in the Alfred hospital and knew immediately what a character she was!

I like Chris, she is tall, very skinny with fabulous cheek bones. She had a fabulous shop in trendy South Yarra and a 40 year marriage to Gary that is still going strong.

Chris talks non stop in her sleep. I have never heard anything like it. Even with my foam earplugs I hear the odd, "Jackie Daaarling, how are you?" and "too true Pru, too true!"


Chris "loves a champagne Daarl!" and a ciggie it would seem, as she zips to and fro every 10 mins.

She's not too popular with the Nursing staff. For someone with a fractured neck and her back broken in 3 places, she doesn't like to wear her brace and it seems only on certain nights she will remember to use her Walker....


The last couple of nights I have heard the occasional cork go pop from behind her curtain and tonight I watched her husband hand her a bottle of white.


I now notice that Chris only remembers to use her Walker, after she has filled a plastic cup with wine/champagne, hidden it inside the shopping pouch and decides to go out for a ciggie!

Genius!

A Day On The (s)Tools...

Well I have had a busy day today.

I will summarise for you all.

• 4 (four) poos. Varying between 4 and 5 on the Bristol Stool Scale


• Dumping the large gutter frame you saw me staggering around on in my video


• Sporting a smaller, sleeker zimmer frame that I can use independently.


• Successfully trained on wheelchair to car transfers (freedom here I come - If someone can pick me up!)


• Cycled 5.5 km's (obviously not out on the open road)


• Started my woodwork class. (pic attached - it's going to be a cheese board)

Yesterday at Pyhsio, my physio the rapist, Emily, tried Functional Electrical Stimulation for those that can't be bothered to look at the link, I have attached an action packed video. Ah well, actually no, not actioned packed. It was for me anyway - as the muscle that controls the Dorsal flex (means flexion of the ankle which makes the top of the foot turn toward the body) moved my foot up by 2 cms! More than it has done for a few weeks.

The session didn't actually work as we had hoped and we probably won't try it again. But it is still early days, as I constantly get told.

I did manage to get 4 burn marks on my legs from the pads.

Fleeting Romance

Doctors and Nurses are obsessed - with shite.

On the first day here, I was sent down for an xray to see how "backed up" I was. There I met Elliot. A lovely young radiologist. We candidly discussed how much faeces was floating around my Transcending and Descending Colon, I didn't need the x-ray to prove it - I was full of shit!

My bowels are talked about like a close relative that must visit daily.

The general bowel movement law of the Medical Industry is that if dear old "Bowel" doesn't "visit" or move one day, he gets talked about, like you forgot to tell him what ward you were on!

If Bowel hasn't visited the 2nd day, he is sent a little reminder of how to get to where he needs to go. This is usually in pill form, sometimes known as a "softener" or a "pusher"

If bowel hasn't visited by day 3, he is sent the equivalent of a taxi, to get him here quickly. The suppository form - this chains you to the bed for at least 20 mins and helps you improve you commode transfer skills as you need to roll over in record time.

And by Christ if Bowel hasn't arrived by day 4, he is chauffeur driven to the airport, is put through priority check in and fast tracked for boarding his first class flight.

And believe me it's long haul.

When he does arrive, he is made such a fuss of. People come from far and wide to see him and get close to him. Analysing what type of food he likes and what time of the day he is at his most entertaining.

This first class ticket is called FLEET. It comes in a 125 ml bottle and tastes like snails and puppy dog tails. They recommend this...gruel once for patients who need a bowel operation.

I had 3 doses.

After day 1, my arsehole turned itself inside out.
The nurses told me it was "absolutely fine" if I shat the bed.

After day 2, mind power kept bowel away.

Day 3 - my arsehole could feel the cold of the water in the bottom of the pan and although it was temporarily soothing, it was pleading with me to never, never drink fleet again.

After physio this morning I went for another x-ray. Elliott rather glumly told me I hadn't shifted as much as I should have.

I am currently in negotiations with the Nurses to give me an enema to release the chocolate hostages under my terms.

Here's a little video of me walking with my splints on at physio this morning.

17th April 09 - Since writing this a few days ago my Doctor has signed me up for

4 x softeners

2 x pushers

2 x suppositories

1 x sachet mix

2 days of fleet.

Not happy Jan

Bye Bye Betty, Betty Goodbye...

I said farewell to Betty today who has finished her rehabilitation. Here is a pic of me with Betty (82) and her husband Jack (89). They have been married 61 years and attribute their good health (apart from the odd knee replacement and heart murmur) to not smoking or drinking.

Betty was a great room mate who was of sound mind and had a sharp tongue. We talked about a few things including the secret to her marriage. She told me as quick as a flash that she would have left Jack numerous times but didn't know how to drive back then. So she stayed and they worked it out.

Jack was also quite the character. Last time he was at the heart clinic the Doctor asked him if he would live to 100. Jack replied, "you tell me!!"

He also got pulled over by a booze bus a little while ago and when the officer asked him when the last time he had a drink was, Jack thought about it and replied - 1962.

Wiggle Your Big Toe - Day 10

Since my hospitalisation on 1st April, I have spoken to alot of friends who are not in the same State or Country as I am, a few who aren't on the same continent or in the same hemisphere and let's face it, a few who aren't on the same planet! Most of them have have expressed a sense of frustration at not being able to physically be here for me.

Just so you know, the flowers, phone calls, text messages and emails I have received have made you all feel alot closer, so thank you.

I thought I would start this blog for those of you who might not be able to be here and follow my progress as much as you would like.

Let's start at the beginning, you all know I have suffered with back pain for the last couple of years. Anyone who suffers from chronic pain of any kind are able to manage it well, and unfortunately some of us don't recognise when the pain changes and just carry on regardless.

I started to get pain towards the middle of March and thought I was developing sciatica. I got shooting pains down my legs that came and went (It was at it's most painful on 28th March. I now know this to be where the disc was hitting the nerves) I got stiffness the next day and had trouble getting into a friends car and lawn bowling with my usual skill (!). On Monday 30th March it was still painful and I thought a good session of Bikram or Hot Yoga would stretch me right out. Within minutes of the class (the start of the warm up!) I started to get a cramping feeling down my legs and practically laid down and suffered the pain for the 90 min class, getting up occasionally to try the odd yoga pose. I now know that I had slipped the disc by this stage and each position I tried, made it worse.

The next morning I felt pins and needles in my feet and calf muscles. It really hurt. No, no, in fact, it was excruciating. I laid on the bed and the sensation went away, I got up, it came back, I laid down, it went away, I got up it came back, I laid down...... this happened 7 times. (I know this now to be where the disc was starting to damage the nerve.)

I drove to work and my left foot gave out from under me when I got to the office. I worked for the day and my foot did the same thing 2 more times (this was the nerve shutting down that controlled that part of my foot). By the end of the day, I couldn't walk 3 metres. I had a hot bath and wore DVT socks to bed and barely slept. The next morning I could not walk and could hardly move. I called 000.

The hospital explained what had happened to me and they dosed me up on anti-inflammatories and I had a couple of days bed rest. The movement in my feet deteriorated over this time and spread to my right foot. I was scheduled in for a lumbar laminectomy for discectomy, that evening.

In layman's terms, the op consisted of an incision in my lower back, moving the nerves to one side and slicing the herniating disc part off. Then sewing me back up. Simple really.

Moving the nerves made them inflame and sent them into shock so on waking from the op, I had little to no feeling in my legs. Just a pins and needles feeling that intensified if they were touched. Horrible.

After 2 days laying completely flat (in case my spinal fluid leaked out of the surgical wound) I started to feel more like myself again.

I am now in a rehabilitation hospital where intensive physiotherapy (twice a day) bed rest, early nights and stable balanced meals should see me up and around in no time (hopefully 3 weeks)

I thought I would video my progress as I am sure you are all having the same thoughts as I had about maybe, well, let's just say, not being 100% on my feet again. These videos also help me monitor my progress to keep me on the same positive thinking track.

Rehab starts with small steps. This video shows how I can wiggle my toes 10 days after the op. It's a vast improvement and deserves to be celebrated.

In case you are wondering about the picture at the top, that is my friend Paul, who realised my feet were getting alot of attention and came in to paint my toenails!!

Love to you all,

Rach