I'm Coming Out, I Want The World To Know, Got To Let It Show...

So it’s really happening. I will be discharged tomorrow. I am required to check out of Hotel Caulfield by 11am.

How do I feel?

Well, good, I guess. Sort off…

7 weeks ago, when I woke up from the operation with little to no sensation and dull tingling in my toes, feet, legs, bum and saddle area – I must admit I panicked. I overwhelmed myself with thinking 6 months ahead and letting my imagination run wild. My head went into the clouds and I conjured up dark, depressing images of how my life will change, and quite frankly, I thought it was over. Ridiculous I know.

I remember feeling nervous about leaving The Alfred. I had no idea what rehab was (due to reading too many trashy magazines!) and I was still sore with the Medical Emergency Crew for passing up such a great storyline.

I managed to stay positive by breaking down my recovery into bite sized pieces. Initially one day at a time, then as more feeling came back, one week at a time.

While I have been in rehab, I have just focused on getting better and not worrying about anything. I spoke to my workplace and they reassured me my job was safe and they also told me to just focus on getting better. And I have done just that.

Don’t worry about a thing, just focus on getting better. Worry about everything later.

Ah!

Later.

Later is now,

Now is later.

SLAM!

That’s the noise I made when I came back down to earth.

So, it’s official. I am leaving on Friday. I’ve hired my wheelchair and crutches, my outpatients appointments have been made, I did a theory driving assessment yesterday and my practical driving assessment will be next week (this will determine if I can drive an automatic or only a hand control car). My flat has been fitted with all the modifications I require, The Pharmacist has the drugs ready and the nurses are talking about missing me. Ah bless.

So this next phase will be around integrating myself back into the real world again and eventually back to work.

I will have to change my world, although I still want a lot of my old world brought over, I can’t have it all.

Like I am 17 again, Mum is excited about me driving. She knows how much independence this can give someone. This is my next big project, broken down to bite sized pieces, next week the driving assessment, the week after the car. I hope it will be the automatic option.

My friend Petra hates the term ‘discharge” for reasons I won’t go into so I looked up the definition of discharge and here are my favourites:

To relieve of a burden
To release, as from confinement, care, or duty
To shoot
to relieve oneself

Let's hope I don't do a Frank Spencer down the Breezeway...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Bec7FDJSKs